I just got back from Burger King and noticed they didn't put any ketchup in the bag and I love to dip my fries in ketchup before I eat them. I have some ketchup in my fridge, but I hate putting cold ketchup on hot food. Any suggestions? - Ben (Milford, MA)
-Let sit until ketchup reaches room temperature.
-Force ketchup into conditions of extreme stress, then be kind to it, repeat process until getting the information desired.
-Microwave ketchup for forty minutes.
-Pretend to leave the room, then turn around quickly and yell "Ha" at maximum decibels permitted by landlord.
-Laugh at it's jokes whether you find them funny or not.
-Play some Al Green, earlier stuff.
-Use mustard, ranch and/or mayo to induce jealousy.
-Challenge it to a pull-ups contest, even if you lose, the ketchup will probably be warm.
-Eat ribs instead.