Bath & Bodyworks Aroma Therapy Candles

Whenever I'm feeling down or just not like myself, I spark up a fat Bath & Bodyworks aroma therapy candle and then just chill out or whatever. The thing is, when you're at the B&B, you can't exactly test out their candles. Sure, you can smell them unlit and all, but that's just not the same and you know it. What are the best smelling candles that will relax me? - Rick (Green River, WY)

List Generated:

-Comfortable Watermelon

-Angel's Wing

-Rainkissed Pillow

-Lethargic Vanilla Bunny

-Honey Mantra

-Goodnight Nurse

-Zest of Meatball

-Cocoa Pebble Leaf

-Uncontrollable Laughter

-Sleepy Fingers

-Blood Thirst

Jazz Musician Nicknames

I'm going to this jazz club tonight where there are a lot of hep cats who really know their stuff. I'm pretty new to jazz in many respects, and don't always know who they're talking about once the jazz conversations start going down. Can you clue me in? - Donald (Hilton Head Island, SC)

List Generated:

-"Blow" Davis (Miles Davis)

-"Professor Magic Fingers" Monk (Thelonius Monk)

-"Bass Hand" Mingus (Charles Mingus)

-"Crazy Cheeks" (Louis Armstrong)

-"Fe-Robocop" (Billie Holiday)

-"Assemblyman" Coltrane (John Coltrane)

-"Dave" Brubeck (Dave Brubeck)

-"Tonight Show" Eubanks (Kevin Eubanks)

-"Gold Man Sax" (Bird Parker)

14th Century Sneeze Responses

My daughter has a very bad cold and is constantly sneezing. No matter how many times me and my wife say "Bless you," it seems to do nothing to make her better. I understand that our 14th-century ancestors cured the sniffles with different responses; can you please tell me what they were so that our daughter can be saved? - Zachariah (Nampa, ID)

List Generated:

-Do not threaten me witch.

-Thou fakes a demon expulsion for our lord's sympathy!

-I know your secrets now!

-Cleanliness. Purity. Cleanliness.

-Brapples thou?

-Beware! You've released the jackrabbit's soul!

-Then it is settled.

-So the mentalist can speak! I was beginning to worry.

-Mos Bless.

Office April Fools' Day Pranks

Every single year I find myself on the wrong side of office April Fools' Day pranks. This year, however, I vow to be the one who's doing the fooling! Can you suggest some solid never-fail office pranks? - Vicky (Provo, UT)

List Generated:

-Convince everyone in your office's chin-up contest that it's actually a pull-up contest. Then, just as time runs out, yell "it actually was a chin-up contest, April Fools!"

-Pour Dr. Pepper all over your cubicle neighbor's keyboard, it'll make the keys stick to her fingers!

-Make your co-worker's cereal magically float out of the bowl while he's alone, but when someone comes into the room have it crash to the ground. He'll think he's going crazy and no one will believe him when he tries to explain what happened!

-While the office mother sparrow is sleeping, gently lift her up and steal her eggs. When she starts to freak out, explain to her the custom of April Fools' Day in terms a sparrow would understand!

-Get to work early and re-route the back-siphon to a copper indirect tank. Later in the day, when no one's looking, channel the UPVC through a down pipe header and put an extra clamp on the basin cistern!

-Throw a banana peel in front of the portly janitor carrying a tall, wobbly stack of pies!

-Find out which of your co-workers has a crippling fear of the apocalypse. Next, set up a rear projection system outside her window. Then, play footage of a nuclear bomb going off in the distance. Sit back and laugh as she totally freaks out!

-Switch the "Pull" and "Push" signs on your office building's fire escapes, (don't forget to switch them back on April 2nd or else you can get in trouble!)!

Meteorologists

I'm almost done achieving my B.S. in meteorology at the South Dakota School of Mines and Technology and then it's off into the highly competitive world of meteorology. My mentor says that the quickest way to become a working meteorologist is to have a catchy name. Can you suggest some please? - Joe (Rapid City, SD)

List Generated:

-Rip N. Thunders

-Carl Cumulus

-Amber Prophesy

-Froggy Hoppers

-Friendly Skyhumper

-Sunder Storms

-Aaron Accutemperature

-Sorceress Marge

-Mos Bless

Job Interview Follow Up Tips

Just got back from a job interview and I think it went pretty well. I want to stay on their radar without appearing too desperate, do you have any good tips? - Abigail (Gromore, WA)

List Generated:

-Send over a nice basket of kittens with a card thanking them for considering you for the job.

-Make polite follow up calls once a week for two years whether the position has been filled or not.

-Photoshop yourself onto the cover of Time Magazine with the headline "Your Future Employee!" and slip it into your prospective employer's mail.

-If it's been over a month and you still haven't been given an answer, stand outside of the office building on a rainy night screaming "COWARDS!" School Ties style.

-Follow the person who interviewed you around for a couple of days and "coincidentally" bump into them several times. They'll think it's a sign to hire you.

-Casually mention to the company's receptionist that there is a bidding war heating up over you.

-If you find out you didn't get the job, it's never a bad idea to have your mother put in one last call on your behalf.

-Interview for the job with as many of your alter egos as possible. It's a numbers game.

-Always send a "You're Welcome" note.

Hair Gel Brands

I have a blind date tonight that a friend set me up on. I don't usually wear hair gel, but according to my friend, this girl likes guys with gel hair. I figure, what the heck, let's try something new! What are some of the best brands of hair gel? - Jerry (San Angelo, TX)

List Generated:

-Megatrix Power Hold

-Metal Skull

-Power Tips

-Nestlé Hair Crunchables

-Hair Czar

-Evil Spike

-Locks Locker

-Bench Press