Office April Fools' Day Pranks

Every single year I find myself on the wrong side of office April Fools' Day pranks. This year, however, I vow to be the one who's doing the fooling! Can you suggest some solid never-fail office pranks? - Vicky (Provo, UT)

List Generated:

-Convince everyone in your office's chin-up contest that it's actually a pull-up contest. Then, just as time runs out, yell "it actually was a chin-up contest, April Fools!"

-Pour Dr. Pepper all over your cubicle neighbor's keyboard, it'll make the keys stick to her fingers!

-Make your co-worker's cereal magically float out of the bowl while he's alone, but when someone comes into the room have it crash to the ground. He'll think he's going crazy and no one will believe him when he tries to explain what happened!

-While the office mother sparrow is sleeping, gently lift her up and steal her eggs. When she starts to freak out, explain to her the custom of April Fools' Day in terms a sparrow would understand!

-Get to work early and re-route the back-siphon to a copper indirect tank. Later in the day, when no one's looking, channel the UPVC through a down pipe header and put an extra clamp on the basin cistern!

-Throw a banana peel in front of the portly janitor carrying a tall, wobbly stack of pies!

-Find out which of your co-workers has a crippling fear of the apocalypse. Next, set up a rear projection system outside her window. Then, play footage of a nuclear bomb going off in the distance. Sit back and laugh as she totally freaks out!

-Switch the "Pull" and "Push" signs on your office building's fire escapes, (don't forget to switch them back on April 2nd or else you can get in trouble!)!

New President's Eve Traditions

Over the years, as it's become more and more commercialized, I've stopped celebrating New President's Eve. But this year I'm genuinely excited for the holiday, and I want my kids to have fond memories to tell their children one day. So I was wondering if you could brush me up on the traditions. - Lauren (Dallas, OR)

List Generated:

-Dance around the pumpkin.*

-Reading of All the President's Men in it's entirety to the kids (ideally by a fireplace).

-The watching of CNN.

-Seed fights.

-Candy for dinner.*

-Shaving of the town's heaviest sheep.**

-Painting of your neighbor's gazebo.*

-Listening of Manheim Steamroller's 42-minute rendition of Grand Old Flag.

-Chin-up contest.**

* - Preceded by seed fight

** - Followed by seed fight

Top Selling Holiday Season Toys

Call me a terrible parent, but I just got my son and daughter their Christmas presents last minute yesterday. It was pretty slim pickins' at the toy store, was wondering what I may have missed out on. - Jerry (La Pine, OR)

List Generated:

-Action Squares!

-Roartholomew The Ruffian Prince: Warrior Lord, Son of King Volusomon (with axe set)

-Make-a-Futon

-Robot Friend

-Huggasquirbbles

-Monopoly: Dora The Explorer Edition

-Zamboni Fighters

-Lil' Miss Latte Maker

-Apples