Chapters In A Book Entitled 'In A Perfect World...'

I'm writing a book entitled: 'In A Perfect World...' In it, I talk about all the things that I think the world should do without. While I'm never short of an unpopular opinion on a subject, I don't really know where to start when it comes to organizing my thoughts. I think it'd help if you could give me chapter titles, then I can just riff, Dennis Miller style. - Ryan (Core City, MI)

List Generated:

-Introduction: So You Thought The World Was Perfect? I Have Some Disappointing News...

-The Importance Of Abolishing Soda

-7 Reasons Not To Use Plastic Cups

-7 More Reasons Not To Use Plastic Cups

-Physical "Education"

-A Few Things You Should Know Before Eating Meat

-People Should Use Bicycles Instead Cars

-All Veggie Burgers Should Be Square

-Sports: How They Distract Us From What's Really Important

-Why We're Better Off Without Pandas

-1991-1995, The Only Years In Music That Matter

-Your Cellphone Is A Digital Leash

-Conclusion: I Told You The World Wasn't Perfect

Bath & Bodyworks Aroma Therapy Candles

Whenever I'm feeling down or just not like myself, I spark up a fat Bath & Bodyworks aroma therapy candle and then just chill out or whatever. The thing is, when you're at the B&B, you can't exactly test out their candles. Sure, you can smell them unlit and all, but that's just not the same and you know it. What are the best smelling candles that will relax me? - Rick (Green River, WY)

List Generated:

-Comfortable Watermelon

-Angel's Wing

-Rainkissed Pillow

-Lethargic Vanilla Bunny

-Honey Mantra

-Goodnight Nurse

-Zest of Meatball

-Cocoa Pebble Leaf

-Uncontrollable Laughter

-Sleepy Fingers

-Blood Thirst

Improve Left Hand Dexterity

I am right handed. There is very little I can do with my left hand at all. I feel I'm missing out on a lot, and would like to improve the dexterity of what is currently little more than dead weight at the end of my left arm. What would you suggest for someone in my position? - Paul (Rockledge, FL)

List Generated:

-Start easy -- use your left hand to scrawl letters to that girl you like but are afraid to talk to.

-Squeeze cupcakes.

-Have your right thumb surgically moved to the other side of your right hand.

-Don’t skimp when hiring a hand tutor, you’ll save money down the road.

-Practice throwing apples to monkeys with your left hand, then do it for real.

-When picking out a new left hand, give the fingers a good shake. If the hand is good, the fingers should be pliable and very few will fall off.

-Shoot footage of left-handers at the grocery store going about their routine. If they catch you, drop some cans of soup and walk away.

-If you have extra disposable income, get a doctor to imprint you with a lifetime of left-hand knowledge by jabbing a syringe into your brain filled with memory fluid (like at the end of Dark City).

-Leftersize.