Things To Check For Before Moving Into A House Built Atop A Dormant Volcano

My wife and I just had our second child and we need to move into a larger house. Luckily, we found this amazing deal where the developer sealed up the business end of a dormant volcano with cement and then built a beautiful three-bedroom house on top of it. The price is certainly right, but can you think of any reasons why we shouldn't move into it? Can you get back to me soon, I understand there's another couple interested. - Forest (Mauna Kea, HI)

List Generated:

-Before signing that lease, make sure the volcano is actually a volcano and not a mudcano. Nobody wants to live atop a mudcano, dormant or not.

-Visit the house at night, just to get a better sense of how safe the neighborhood is.

-Be sure the developer didn't originally seal the volcano with concrete for the purpose of trapping a demon or some other evil spirit.

-Check for hot floors regularly.

-Make sure your children's school has a bus that can drive up the side of a dormant volcano.

-If something is too good to be true, it might just be. Find out why the price is so low.

-Dormant volcanoes are mother earth's dried up tear ducts. Never forget that.

Ways To Conserve Water

California is in the midst of an all out drought right now which means the price of water is most likely going to start going up. I want to do my part to conserve water, what are some easy ways I can cut down on my water consumption? - Andy (Kerman, CA)

List Generated:

-If you're feeling thirsty, chew some juicy bubble gum.

-Hand wash dishes with scolding hot water, it'll force you to hurry up.

-Bath your dog in Dr. Pepper, there's plenty of that.

-Just fill the shallow end of your swimming pool.

-When a recipe calls for water, ignore that part.

-Use one of those crappy sprinklers where the water barely dribbles out.

-When someone washes their hands in your home, stand a few feet away with your arms folded, shaking your head disapprovingly.

-Use less water.