Things Russian Comedians Say When Doing Impressions Of Blustery Obese Americans

Good evening, I'm Russian comedian working on impressionation of big Americans. Please give me guide in helping me confirm my jokes. I appreciate your. - Vladimir (город Истра, Russian Federation)

List Generated:

-Hot dog sour cream banana, health fitness tomato sauce President.

-Soccer soccer baseball home run.

-Hair gel money Nacho Cheese seat belts.

-Buy low sell high, thunderstorm Nintendo power glove.

-New York Yankees RV Camper Las Vegas wildlife Big Mac.

-Ronald Reagan Jimi Hendrix therapy Berlin Wall.

-Mood Music hello goodbye Miller Lite.

-Dollar dollar hot dog stuffing Thanksgiving.

-Camaro Hummer beach surf board Vin Deisel pretzels The Gap.

-Cheerio bangers and mash trisket meat pie.

-Cookie cookie cookie.

SXSW Twitter Updates

Me and some friends are making a road trip to Austin for SXSW and we're pumped. I really want to show my friends who couldn't go how much amazing stuff they are missing, so I'm going to update my every experience on Twitter. What should I tweet to maximize their jealousy? - Osborne (North Stephentown, NY)

List Generated:

-Just got my big bag and directories!! Off to Beacon Lounge for free breakfast and an acoustic Big Boi set, should be SWEET.

-Dan Deacon sighting #4 of the day, I think he's following me! And now to eat ANOTHER pulled pork sandwich...

-hahahahaHAHAHAHAHahhahaha, YACHT's got us doing the hokey pokey, so much fun

-Best panel of SX so far: Electropop's Evolution In The Age Of Global Warming Really eye opening.

-No BRITT DANIEL!!! you CAN'T walk up and stand right in front of me at the {{{SUNSET}}} show!!!! BOOOOO!! ok fine

-Free Miller High Life @ the ZUNE TENT, hurrrrrrryyyyyyy!!!!

-Ummmm, impromptu Bon Iver show at Burger King? Yes. That's. Happening. Right. NOW! (PICS TO COME!!!!)

-New fav SXSW moment: dude from Dirty Projectors eating a rib in between songs!! LOLhahahaahAHA

-Just caught the end of Sia's set at the Pig Trough, fuckin' sickmazing.

-I NEED REST!!! But I'm going to go to the American Apparel par-tay insteads 8D

-Didn't anyone tell Peter, Bjorn & John it's not last year?

-Sébastien Tellier just did a keg stand. If anyone's wondering: 12 seconds

-The fat lady's singing (not literally, it's actually Bat For Lashes) Heading home from a magical weekend :(

Family Friendly Improv Troops

My comedy loving family and I are going to be going to Chicago soon and we hear that the city is rich with talented improvised comedy troops. I did some research online and there's so many I don't know where to start! Can you list some of the family friendly ones we should check out? - Alex (Idaho Falls, ID)

List Generated:

-Hamsters On Ice!

-The Arnold Improvanators!

-Fun Intended!

-Improvolley For Serve!

-Attack Of The Fifty Foot Waffles!

-Pickles On Roller Skates!

-Watermelon Cookies!

-The Comedafunnies!

-Funk In The Trunk!

-For Unlawful Comedy Knowledge!

-Robots On Water Skies!

-Douche Bags!

People You’ll Encounter At A Rock Show

I’m really into bands; I go to their websites and I have over 157 gigs of music in my iTunes, all of it amazing. Anyways, I’ve never been to a show, but I definitely plan on it some day, what should I expect to see? – Holden (Round Rock, TX)

List Generated:

-Seven-foot guy who stands a few people in front of you, swaying gently back and forth.

-Girls with Cat Power/Feist hair.

-Throw up girl (with crying best friend and/or annoyed boyfriend).

-Seventy-year-old man who knows every word to every song.

-Blogger who watches the entire show through his digital camera.

-Self-conscious guy with horn-rimmed glasses who occasionally catches himself grooving a little too hard and then checks to see if anyone noticed.

-German girl who’s at the wrong show.

-Dude who knows the bassist for the opening band.

-Al Jardine.

Heckles

Yo, me an my friends are going to a comedy club tonight. We do this like once a month or so, and they are totally great at heckling the comics. I, on the other hand, suck at it and end up feeling stupid. Can you give me a few zingers to throw these comics off their game? - Jake (Clovis, NM)

List Generated:

-I already heard you tell all these jokes last night.

-Who are you to be making fun of airline pilots?

-You stole that joke from me.

-I can see your lips moving while you make the puppet talk.

-You remind me of my friend Aaron from High School.

-I haven't seen this many bombs since I visited this one bomb factory outside of Tulsa.

-Do that super finger thing from the Dane Cook CD.

-What do you mean everyone hates hecklers?

-No they don't.

-Hecklers are why people go to see comedy dude.

-No, you're an idiot.

'50s Dance Crazes

When I was a teenager, me and my friends would do the neatest dances. Even back then, there were so many crazes it was hard to keep up with, but now I can't seem to remember any of them. Would you be so kind as to rekindle my memory? - Monica (Java, SD)

List Generated:

-The Penicillin

-The Row Boat

-The Happy Loman

-The Walrus Flop

-The Nuclear Hop

-The Eat Red Meat Bop

-The Truman

-The Segregation

-The Atlas Shrug

-The Hate All Commies